Performance Review Reflection

Workplace relationships are unique interpersonal relationships with important implications for the individuals in those relationships, and the organizations in which the relationships exist and develop.

#1 Co-Workers
Type: N/A
Description: Co-worker relationships are neither professional nor personal, but merely circumstantial. They are acquaintances through your company, but beyond working for the same organization, you have very little interaction with them.
Role: Co-workers serve little role professionally or personally, but serve a valuable role in that they are often the pool of people from which other, more meaningful relationships will be established.

#2 Team-Member
Type: Professional
Description: Team-members are fellow employees who work on the same team as you. This could be the team you work with on a daily basis, a committee you’ve joined or a group working together for a single activity.
Role: Team-members are important because they are the people you actually accomplish work with. Together, you plan, design, develop, execute and track work related to your role. The better your relationship with your team, the easier it is to get this work completed.

#3 Work Friends
Type: Personal
Description: Work Friends are people who you interact with socially at work–you sit by them in meetings, go to lunch together, talk to them at work events and happy hours, and possibly even see them outside of work every now and then.
Role: Work Friends fill our social need and keep us sane from the daily grind. You likely wouldn’t be friends with them if not for your mutual employment of each other at the same company, but they serve as our support system during the corporate hours.

#4 Manager/Direct Report
Type: Professional
Description: Your Manager is the one assigning you the work, helping you succeed and ultimately impacting the work you do (and don’t do). Your Direct Reports are the ones who report to you (you are their manager). They also determine whether or not you succeed.
Role: The relationship between you and your manager is vital because they often play an important role in determining your rating, salary and workplan. They are also a large factor in your workplace satisfaction (as they say, you don’t leave a company, you leave your manager). For your Direct Reports, you serve these functions, while they serve as a way to accomplish more with your organization without you doing all of the work.

#5 Office Spouse
Type: Personal
Description: Your Office Spouse is that person you spend a significant amount of time with; they are your go-to for venting and advice, and there have probably been rumors about the two of you at one time or another (even though it is platonic).
Role: The role of the Office Spouse is to serve as your “workplace bestie” or go-to friend when you have a work predicament. They keep you from jumping off the ledge, are the person you trust with sharing your emotions and frustrations, and know you the best out of any of your workplace relationships.

#6 Mentor/Mentee
Type: Professional
Description: Mentor/Mentee is the highest professional relationship you can have. It’s similar in intimacy to that of an Office Spouse, but it serves you professionally. Your mentor is that person you go to for career guidance and help on the toughest-of-the-tough problems. Your mentee is the one coming to you for that advice.
Role: Your Mentor helps you traverse the landscape at your job. They help you think through the most challenging problems, give you perspective on how to handle your most challenging relationships, and generally guide you to success. You serve the same purpose for your Mentee, while they keep you grounded and connected to the pulse of the organization.

#7 Life Friends
Type: Personal
Description: The most intimate work relationship you can have is one that you don’t even consider specific to work–that of a friend IRL (in real life). They would be your friends even if you no longer worked at the company.
Role: These are friends who fill the same role as your normal social friends, because that’s what they are. You have fun together, laugh together, cry together, and possibly become romantically involved together. They aren’t friends you know at work, they are friends you happen to work with.

7 Types of Work Relationships

Obviously the real-world isn’t as structured as what is depicted with these differentiations in relationships. Some people fall into multiple categories (a manager and a mentor) and some blur the lines between two or three of them. However, having an understanding of the basic types of work relationships can help you determine the purpose of the relationship and how to best leverage it for helping you succeed, not just at work, but in life.

Workplace relationships directly affect a worker's ability and drive to succeed. These connections are multifaceted, can exist in and out of the organization, and be both positive and negative. One such detriment lies in the nonexistence of workplace relationships, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and social isolation. Workplace relationships are not limited to friendships, but also include superior-subordinate, romantic, and family relationships

Reset the emotional tone

Conflicts have an emotional impact. Even small issues create tension between ourselves and others, which can cause us to pull away in order to minimize feelings of hurt, frustration, and anger. But rather than pulling away, research suggests that we’re better off resetting the emotional tone when we notice some tension. One way to do this is by bringing up positive memories with your colleague, which can strengthen your bond and act as an emotional safety net for your relationships.

This doesn’t mean ignoring the negative emotions you may be feeling. Rather, thinking of the positive history you share can help you counterbalance those negative feelings so you can express them effectively. Your goal is to create a supportive environment in which you can express your hurt and anger without further damaging your relationship.

To re-establish a positive emotional tone:

Raise the issue. You want to immediately acknowledge the tension and allow each other to express negative feelings, but it’s important you also emphasize your positive feelings about the future of the relationship: “I know that we are not seeing eye-to-eye on this issue right now, and it is upsetting for both of us, but I’m really optimistic we can work this out.” Ensure that the “rules” of your relationship mean you can express your emotions and ask about your colleague’s, knowing that they will listen without becoming defensive.

Suggest a time out. Set a meeting a couple of days out to let your emotions cool off. If time is of the essence, even something like a coffee break can help ease the tension. If there is not the opportunity for a physical time-out, try a brief topic change, which has been demonstrated to reduce physiological arousal during conflict and promote positive emotions. For example, take a moment to check-in with each other about another project that is going well.

Commit to a shared relationship goal. Agree that your relationship is important and that you both want to restore mutual positive feelings. Remind the other person of the positive elements of your relationship, and your desire to have more positive interactions in the future. This may help to keep the current conflict from contaminating the entire relationship.

Craft your shared narrative

Whether and how relationships recover from conflicts also depends on the stories that we tell. Studies suggest starting with a personal explanation of what you see as the cause of conflict, soliciting the other persons’ explanation, and then using these as the basis for working together to reach  a common understanding of what happened and why. If each person has a different or negative interpretation, and these go unaddressed, there will not be a shared foundation from which to rebuild the relationship.